Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Grammar.

Dear Independent Business Owner:

I am concerned for your business. Not because of your product or because of your location. I am worried for you because this is printed on the awning for your store: Babiology - the study of you and your babies needs. Either, A) you didn't think to have someone proof this and didn't realize for yourself that it was wrong or B) had someone equally as inept as you in grammar proof your sign prior to printing or C) noticed and hung your sign anyway. I will not shop there. You didn't even get me in the door for the implied needs of all my hypothetical babies. At least you know enough to update your website: www.babiologyonline.com

Yes. I teach English to 13-year-olds. No. I am not anal about the English language, unlike an 8th grade teacher at school who is referred to as the Grammar Queen. I'm generally quite tolerant of careless conversational errors or typos. I get really annoyed at blatant grammatical errors on things that have been proofed by someone whose job it is to proof things. You know, the type of things that someone paid for.

These things definitely bug me. A lot.

#1 - Pretty sure 'weekend' doesn't have a hyphen in it. I've never looked that rule up or anything, but that word looks ridiculous with a hyphen. Then, though, there's the word/phrase 'all right'. Just learned last year that it's really spelled as two words (like a lot -- another annoyance).

#2 - Also apostrophes. I'm clearly annoyed when they're left out. Perhaps even more annoyed when they're added in the wrong spots. My current favorite is at the Flea Market (I know, I have high expectation for a Flea Market.) The sign reads: No Dog's Allowed. Nice. Almost as disturbing as the logo printed on an awning in Five Points.

At least I've got job security.

HW: Check out the in-the-stall bathroom ads. Not the graffiti, the actual proofed, printed, paid-for ads. Those things are notorious for being fraught with errors.

4 comments:

Dana E. said...

I thought "all right" was spelled "aight."

Maybe I'm wrong.

Erin said...

hilarious. i'm with you girl. go easy on regular people, but not on business owners who make SIGNS.
also, have you noticed how bad realtors can be? i can't buy a house from someone who says "great house in a quite community" or worse.

also, i really like you jessie and i am happy to reconnect, if only on the web :)

Juicy said...

This is the latest bathroom ad find in Tir-na-nog: Windshield free wipers.

Anonymous said...

Jessie, im so sorry that i am so far away and i miss how funny you are. im glad i finally got around to reading your blog. ps. i actually have read oscar wilde. it was pretty good. i agree. but its funny because while you are always looking at grammar on things i usually get really annoyed with the visuals, like when restaurants really cop out and use stick figures, that really is annoying. me and my friends spend much of our time in stores analyzing the packaging. its pretty funny.


pps. i realize the irony of my horrible grammar. and i apologize. i've been in a battle with my writing abilities.