Bad-Ass

We used to try to rank people on their bad-ass-ness. (Different still from the spectrum for men and women - more on that to come perhaps). I realized recently that in addition to having no talents worth mentioning, I am also not much of a bad-ass. This weekend Brent and did EXACTLY the same thing we did the Sunday before: church, lunch, nap/watch Panthers, bike ride, dinner at MoJoe's, and drinks with friends at 8:00. The difference: we only shared about .5 miles of our bike ride. Brent wanted a real ride and I was too chicken to try the greenway by myself, so he got me started then we split ways and met up again at the end. I am such a pansy. I related part of it to a roller coaster ride, you know board walks and height restrictions, etc. I like scary things that I'm not in control of, like roller coasters. I even think I could sky dive. I cannot, though, force myself to finish the Angel's Landing hike at Zion or ride too fast on my bike. I freak out thinking of all the things I could do wrong. The bike ride was good for me - I'd done it once with Brent. I only had to stop once to avoid hitting a tiny dog that hardly qualified as being a dog. The scary part, to me, is that I'm not completely in control. When I walk, there's no worries that I'll fly out of control into the street. I know it's just biking, but my heart rate is always slightly up because I fear this. Clearly, not a bad-ass. I tried to argue with Brent that it's the ta-ta induced different center of gravity. I will barely take my hands of the handle bars to signal a turn - okay, in fact, I don't even do it. And he can flail around on his bike. I wish it was a guy-girl difference, but I think it's just fear. I hate being governed by fear. I wish I was more bad-ass and less fearful. Perhaps it comes from being so uncoordinated growing up. Maybe it's just in my nature. Thankfully, I've had good people in my life push me to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do. The fearful always need friends like that. This post, then, is a thank you to Kate, Anne, Cass and Brent, who make me do things I wouldn't ordinarily do. Even when I cuss at them for it. Go out tonight and be, or find, that friend.